I Look Up To The Sky Because You Are There
by Moonlight M3lody
Summary: Arnaud/Raquel oneshots collection. Timeline varies.
1. Painting

A/N: I know I have mention about this a long time ago. Now I've decided it'll be a series of ficlets about Raquel and Arnaud, with varying degree of angst (though I want it to contains some other genres as well). I currently have 5 chapters in my disposal, and, no promise, I'll try to upload it every week.

**1. Painting**

Before, he thought that a swordwoman who loved painting was rather odd. That was long ago. After he learnt about the reason, he started to find himself being fond of those pictures, and more than once, the one who painted them. Though they were just raw sketches, drawn between one fierce fight and another, they were full of passion, and somehow, hope. Twilight sky, reflection of moon above the lake, blooming flower. Each of them brought one piece of peacefulness and beauty she adored.

"I want to capture this world's beauty into my eyes, and my canvas, to preserve it eternally." Those words echoing in his mind everytime he looked at them. If only he understood what she meant by the time.

The diner walls were never bare. Never. Beauties of the world ornamented the room, all of them always brought him memories of a special one.


	2. Snow

**Snow**

They passed a lot of cities and villages in their journey. Some of them had been visited while they were still in the party, but most of them were new. Those were small, remote places that hid themselves during the enraging war, keeping their comforting solace as long as they could.

One of them, that marked a memory that still engraved in his mind till today, was a small town without name, which stood in the middle of a snowy land. As far as the land stretched, it was white and white, white lake, white forest, a whole white world. He often described it as the white of angel's feather, and he wasn't kidding.

It was no ordinary snow. Like rain, the snowflakes were small, twinkling lightly as they descended from heaven. It reminded him of teardrop, innocently tragic. Smooth and soft, he remembered both of them ignored the chill in such low temperature only to watch the scene outside the inn. He didn't see much snowy town before, but he knew it by heart, that place was special. Raquel once commented, she could forget her pain by let it melt to the snow.

What he didn't know was at the moment, Raquel imagined herself to be an angel, finally free of pain, crystalizing her thought and feelings and let them fall to the earth. The snowflakes.


	3. Will

3:Will

It was something that flashed in his mind once or twice during the journey. He hadn't taken the magic lesson seriously before, though it occurred to him he could have the chance to learn it properly had he gave it more thought.

Before he met the group and undeliberately dragged into the whole save-the-world scheme, he paid almost no heed to his ability, and more than once questioning on why on earth he possessed the blessing. Slowly and painfully he learnt about that, swallowing his pride and hiding his regret behind cheery clowny facade after he saw that he was, to him, the most unneeded member of the group. Even Yullie tried her best despite her shortcomings. Jude, innocently involved but quickly gained his will to protect the world he just knew, and Raquel, fighting over her depleting strength. They were struggling, giving everything they had-which were not so much from the beginning- on stake.

He had strength, he had intelligence, he had health, and he had his ability. It was him who had everything in the group, yet he was almost no help. It was halfway through their journey he began to change. He was ashamed. And finally, he began to love the world. The world where everyone lived in. it was a new experience to see people smiled because of him. It felt good to think you have finally be of some use.

But it wasn't until that second, when he had trembling Raquel in his embrace, he could answer his own question long ago. It was given to him so he could protect the one he love when such times come. Now he understood, more than ever.

A/N: Sorry for the –very-late update. I lost my chapters somehow, and now I'm able to retrieve them back. Thank you for Ruputna. Her review gave me motivation, encourage me to write something after such long time I've been absent from posting new stories. I'm glad if there's someone out there-even only one- like my writings. Good day!


	4. Sketches

A/N: I…shouldn't be writing right now, a fanfic nonetheless. But eh, I must let this monster of a plot bunny free at once. They're invading my mind, mercilessly shoved away the whole thing I've been studying…Forgive me if they're OOC. I haven't played the game for a while so my mind's quite clouded.

5:Sketches

That was about half a year after they were separated. By going on a journey together with Raquel he had learnt many, many things about her, much more than he asked for. However, he was glad for them, as when they still meddled about the world's state and other critical problems, he never actually got to know her closely. She was not quite a talker since the beginning, and not to mention she shielded herself from telling too much of her problem to the two kids. They were easily worried, and Raquel was too concerned to have them carry more burdens by letting them know. (If it was him, he would have thought less, and it wasn't even a burden. They ought to know, and having everything by herself obviously damage her frail body even more, but speaking of Raquel, he couldn't blame her. She placed herself as a big sister, one that they could always rely on; while back then he was nothing sort of help.)

Raquel proved herself to be different than any girl he ever known. By the end of the world saving trip she was not the same stoic warrior they met at the beginning of their journey. Although she slightly opened herself to him after all they experienced together, most side of her he acquired by spending time with her in daily basis. And today he found one more way to relate with her.

Sketches.

She had revealed her passion of drawing and painting since their journey. It was just that he never got to see her sketches before, as many events happened in succession of another, and one time she actually wanted to show them her art supplies were soaked and wrecked. He secretly developed an eagerness to see her sketches. That day was the time he finally found out.

That morning he awakened in their camp near Guara Babelo. (They were halfway through the forest when Raquel's illness struck again, and continuing would be harmful so camping was the only option.) and he panicked when she was nowhere to be found.

"Goodness! Raquel! Raquel! Where are you?" Hair still messy, bangs covered his face, but his eyes widened in horror. Her sleeping bag was already folded; neatly stacked at the corner of the small camp. Where could she possibly going? His eyes wandering for anything that could probably gave him clue of the current time. Judging by the amount of sunlight reeked through by the camp's entrance, the sun was just dawning. Her attack that night was worse than any he witnessed before. Would she be alright by now? Thought raced back and forth of his mind, and after he waited for another half hour believing she would be soon back without avail he stood and tidied himself, determined to search for her. The forest wasn't dangerous at least, and she brought her sword with her. He just hoped she didn't, somehow, passed away somewhere. He wouldn't forgive himself if that happened.

In quick steps he pulled their bag and lunged outside, body acted before his mind could think. He was about to scourge around the forest when he saw a path between the bushes that led through the sea of trees to what seemed to be a clearing. Instinctively he followed the path, praying that she was there too. Apparently, the forest at the morning was quite silent, save for the sound of birds chirping above him.

At the end of the road the road widened. His heartbeat slowed, relief came to his body as he saw a glimpse of familiar coat. At least he was safe and sound.

"Raq-"

He swallowed his words. Arnaud found himself unable to properly breathe and it wasn't because he was running so fast before, but because the entire scene had a very ethereal quality. Morning sunrays fell through the clearing, shaded by a few stray branches, and a little in front of him was a group of colorful butterflies, circling the light in messy yet beautiful dance. In the middle of them, sitting serenely, was Raquel, pencil and sketchbook on hand.

"Arnaud? Is that you?"As cautious as always, she spun around and finally, world to him started spinning again. Arnaud caught his breath."What are you doing, Raquel? It's dangerous to go by yourself,"he hoped that he didn't sound too protective. Raquel didn't like it when he treated her like a fragile princess. Fortunately, smile formed on Raquel's face."I'm okay. Here, come and see this,"she offered.

She handed him the sketch she had been doing, smiling proudly."Finally, I'm able to draw these sketches I've always wanted to do."

He wasn't very artistic, and might be heavily biased, but he could say that he really loved the picture. It was rough and messy, like any other quick works, but there was something about it that spelt heartful hope. That was the first time he saw any of her artwork, yet now he wanted to see more. Ah, that smile was also a nice bonus.

"Hey Raquel,"Arnaud stretched his hand, giving the book back to the curious owner, displaying a grin.

"Yeah?" she answered, unsure of what he would say.

"You can do this more, you know. We can stop every now and then; We can do it while travelling. You can draw to your heart's content." He would take her everywhere she wanted. He expected more pictures after this, and he'd collect them. This was supposed to be a journey to find her cure, but if this meant he could see more of her smile, being sidetracked a little wouldn't hurt. Besides, a happy soul was more likely to have healthy body,right?

"I'd love to. If we can go to that place again, i want to try sketching at the precipice. The view was astounding. Thanks,Arnaud. Now, shall we go back?"

"Perhaps. I kinda left the tent unattended..."

"YOU LEFT THE TENT UNATTENDED? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

As always, hand on her hips meant trouble. He winced.

."Eh, i went straight to search for you,so..."

"We can't afford more camping equipments. Really, you should think better next time,"she sighed, though not as mad as he thought her to be.

He admitted that the best would be that he packed the tent and their sleeping bags and brought them here, but that thought obviously didn't occured in his panic before. Now it seemed like a very bad idea. Raquel was right. They spent their last funds before to stock on supplies. He couldn't imagine how they'd continue had their tent and everything inside were stolen

She gathered her utilities, placing the sword back to her side, zipping her wristbag, then went off. Arnaud let himself relaxed that time being, lying on the grounds to enjoy the scenery for a while. The sky came to his view. He laughed, every muscle in his body no longer tensed. He enjoyed the time, he noted. And never within six months he complained or regretted his decision. An adventure, this one with his free will that he was sure to enjoy to the fullest with his perfect companion anyone could ask for.

For once, he could feel there would be hope. That he would be able to accompany her until she no longer feel the pain. That he would be able to make both of them cherished the time they spent together.

He got up,smiled.

(x0x0x0x0)

A/N: Apparently i left this rotting in my laptop, forgotten. Only when i chatted with Ruputna again i remembered there was a chapter that i should have uploaded...


	5. Belief

5:Belief

Their marriage was a small ceremony, consisted by the bride, the groom, and the priest only. It was prepared in last minutes, so they couldn't even invite their friends. Not even the circumstances, however, could erase the smile off her lips. It was both surprising and heart-wrenching, when Arnaud proposed her, and she could distinctly remember the blush on her cheeks, the mini heart attack she got, and the way she suddenly stuttered. She was about to reject, at first, repeatedly thinking that Arnaud would only waste his life with her. He could be with better woman, a normal one that wouldn't cause him trouble every now and then. But Arnaud was Arnaud. He could read what she thought and told her so sincerely with his way with words, then at the end she found herself unable to decline. Besides, she knew that deep in her heart she wanted it too.

They didn't even wear the proper wedding suit. Raquel had no gown so a seamstress took a pity on her, lending her hand to remodel one of her clothes into an unorthodox travelling gown. He had never been a fan of formal tuxedo, so he wore an outfit that was the closest he could find. The only thing done right was the ring. He had variety of raw materials between assortments of items they acquired in their travel, and managed to find a good blacksmith to forge the jewelry,luckily in secrecy so at the whole it still surprised her.

At that point she knew that the search for medicine led no point anymore. They had travelled for a few years, but not even a single lead brought them closer to the imaginary elixir. Perhaps in other parallel world they could be together forever, knitting happy ending like those in children's storybooks, but for now she decided what was left was to live her remaining life to the fullest.

After the wedding they concluded that it was best to stay for a while. They needed rest; after all, before they stopped by this town they had been on the road for two months. With them working on a few part time jobs as well as escorting townspeople to nearby places they were able to rent a nice room for a month. That was the most peaceful month she knew, a sweet trial of life if they ever decided to settle down. She couldn't imagine doing that for the rest of her life, though.

Once they regained their energy and replenished supplies, they were back on track again. She didn't remember when, but sometime in the middle of her journey they were actually adventuring the world to places she once said she wanted to visit instead of purely searching for a cure. Perhaps, though still in denial, Arnaud could sense it too, that her time was about to expire. She never questioned.

Leaving the town they set out to the range of mountains circling the continent. The path they walked on was surprisingly well-cared, despite the fact that only rangers occassionally passed through that area. Speaking of ranger, they then exchanged talks on their past comrades, of Jude and Yullie and how they were doing.

That was when she realized how she got tired so easily during the past week. The path was easy with infrequent monsters, so it was unnatural, the pace her stamina depleted. Following that was constant urge to vomit and annoying feeling of nausea. She took that as a symptoms of her waning health, but when she told Arnaud about it they both thought of something else. What if...?

"Are you sure?"

"Big possibility, Raquel. Let's get it checked on the next town."

The town was coincidentally Halim. Thinking that they may also meet their friends strengthened the couple's intention to stop by. Unfortunately both Jude and Yullie were out of the town, but they were able to fulfill their initial intention.

Walking awkwardly from the doctor's cottage, Raquel averted Arnaud's curious gaze. She took a deep breath and with a weak smile nodded."I'm pregnant." He was both shocked and happy to hear that. But Raquel looks troubled."Why?"He inquired,looking at his wife's expression."Aren't you happy?"

She was happy. Happy that a new soul was growing inside her womb, their baby. But that was not the case. She was afraid. "Can I-could I give birth to this child normally? Could I ever be able to raise this child?" Before, she thought she could leave this world peacefully, after gaining everything she could ask for in this world. But now, she wanted to watch her child grow, she wanted to raise a family. She was being greedy.

Arnaud eyed her patiently, "Of course. I believe it." He smiled and pulled her into a loving embrace. She was being greedy. But for now, she would confide in Arnaud's belief no matter how much it costed her. At least, there would be someone to accompany Arnaud after her. Returning the embrace, she closed her eyes to savor the warmth, and to feel the soul who would make her preserve until her time was up.

A/N: One more forgotten draft sitting for more or less 6 months in my computer...


End file.
